bah... hectic life nowadays..before i start, this is a warning to readers of my blog. This is gonna be a "rant" post so if rants are offensive to you, i'd suggest you just click on the X at the top right hand corner of the screen or visit my links section and browse another person's blog. alright now back to my "rant"

Everytime i get home from school, i'd just flop on the bed and instantly go off to lala land, my body's getting more and more fatigued. I even start getting backaches now. My studies are a mess too.. already found it hard just keeping up with chemistry before the holidays, and now.. after the holidays when i've practically forgotten most of the stuff.. even harder lessons appear, and now i have absolutely no idea what the hell i'm doing in chemistry.. (just like the way i used to be in maths during sec 2... and i'll end up getting crappy marks again) Even literature which is one of my favourite subjects is getting harder... I seem to have lost my ability to write long lit essasy. All my lit homework are just answered with short useless lines.. mixed together with new teachers who practically have problems teaching us with their new teaching methods.. my studies are a total WRECK. Wonder how i'm gonna pass my "O"s..

If anyone visits other people blogs.. they would know that.. at least 80% of the people in our school have problems at homes..and I.. am no exception. Even though i seem to be cheery in school everyday and look like i lead a happy life, I'm actually not.. my parents are on really really bad terms now. My Father and mother practically Ignore each other now, they don't even talk to each other no more.To make it worse, my father even gets himself sue-ed by others.. and almost had stuff from my home to be taken and sold in an auction.. my mum also have done things which even I feel ashamed to post here.. my parents' marriage are on the verge of breakdown.. sumtimes i even hear my mum jesting abt a divorce or who'd i choose to go wif if they really divorce.. i even hear my mum talking abt chasing my dad outta the house..

The world is really screwed up.. parents causing so much conflict that a child's childhood which is sooo precious to them is inevitably ruined. A kid's happy life is ruined thanks to the dumb actions of adults.. why can't adults just stay the way they are and then life would be perfect... I know i have to face the real world sooner or later. After my O's everything will be difficult. My only source of comfort are my games and books/comics.. not friends cuz i can't seem to ever find a friend whom i can call my "best" friend whom i can share my secrets with.. everyone just seems so distant.. in their own world. Everyday i put on a face.. deep inside i know it's just a facade acting all cheery like nothing bothers me. I even find it hard to communicate with people now.. sometimes i even feel like being isolated is better then being with friends who only know your "face" and not the true me. Like an outcast i am. not able to fit into any group. A pathetic excuse for a human, thats what i am. owell.. enuf of my ranting.. gonna stop here..